I Avoided Uni For Six Weeks

I started my undergrad a couple of years ago (mid 2019). Usually I’m pretty onto it when it comes to keeping up a routine of watching lectures, doing practise problems, going to tutes, doing other study etc. I set myself a weekly routine, which is usually something like doing uni work between 9 and 6 Monday to Friday (with breaks!), and I usually loosely stick to it (far from perfect, lots of long lunchbreaks, but roughly. Off the top of my head I’d say 80% schedule compliance). When lockdown started that fucked me up for a while, cos I travel in to uni 5 days a week cos I’m shit at focusing on study when I’m at home. So lockdown fucked me up for a bit but I eventually came up with some workarounds to trick myself and get back into the routine.

This semester though… Well this semester it’s more like 5% compliance. I’ve gone to maybe 0-3 lectures and a couple of tutes a week, and spent maybe 1-4 hours on other study/assignments etc. Mostly I’ve just felt SUPER resistant to the idea of doing anything uni related and just avoided doing it. While feeling wracked with anxiety and guilt about avoiding it, of course. When this was happening in the first week or so (Semester started on 26 July, six weeks ago as I write this), I was like “This is weird… I wonder how long this can go on for… I can’t just keep going on like this". But a second week passed, a third week, passed, a fourth week passed, a fifth week passed…. I submitted one assignment with half of the questions unanswered, and two assignments I didn’t even look at (Just let the due date pass without submitting anything).

So then what happened? Stay tuned.